Heros also feel pain

One of the conference speakers was Camille Olson. She is surely a women to put on your heroine list. She is knowledgeable and confident with the scriptures. I have always wanted to be more of a scriptorian but find all of the knowledge difficult to obtain and also to contain. This was the third time I had heard her speak and I just relish in her words and confidence.

It's a funny thing when you find out that people struggle. That at times they felt less then their true potential. Had a hard time feeling happy and struggled with everyday tasks. That at some point they felt like they were alone. Especially when that someone is a someone that you put on a pedestal.

We are all human regardless of our efforts, accomplishments, potential and physical looks. Don't we all have those times that we feel alone and not quite good enough.

When Camille Olson was explaining her situation I felt a familiar pain. Not a "oh good she feels that way too". But a Christlike closeness of familiarity and a sorrow that others feel that same pain.

Camille related this experience that happened during this time when she was feeling lonely and abandoned. It changed my outlook and provides hope and renewed peace at times when it is needed.

Camille lives close to work and enjoys walking to work. She tries to take different routes to experience different surroundings. On one particular trip she noticed an Apricot tree, the Popcorn Popping kind and took note of the blossoms that occupied the tree. For the next several weeks she continued to take a different route. She recalled to us her feelings that I expressed earlier of her personal struggles with life. One day she decided to take the route with the Apricot tree again and in doing so she calculated how many Apricots she thought would be on the tree based on the blossoms she had counted earlier. When she arrived at the tree she began to count the apricots and much to her surprise her calculations were very close. Tears began to roll down her cheeks for as surely as the apricots continue to grow, God lives. He knows her, He loves her and He is aware of her and her struggles.

I have pondered this message and I have thought about the things in my life that could trigger that realization that God lives to provide comfort at times that I am weak. Surely the beautiful roses that I transplanted on a whim because I needed the container prove that God lives. I am not sure what will trigger those emotions in my time of need but I will certainly try to remember that God lives and look for reminders in the beautiful world that surrounds me.

However, I do know that in times that I feel my Heavenly Father's love the strongest these are the things that continue to remind me that God lives and loves me.