Funny of the day: Ramblings On Of The Human Anatomy

It all began on a normal day, this one was doing that and that one was doing this.. and so on.  And then Spencer came to me with a look of pain, Kendal stepped on my penis.  To which Kendal replied, No, he stepped on my penis.  Not being quite sure how to comfort Spencer I began to explain to Kendal that she didn't have a penis, girls have vagina's.  I usually wait a little longer but I felt that she needed to know.  Since this day Kendal has voiced much confusion, Do I have a penis or that other word?  Is our dog a penis?  You mean, is our dog a boy?  Oh, yeah, a boy with a penis.  I can't decide if this is an improvement from the question, which is this my privacy or my butt?  Just call them both your privacy's.  O.K., my privacy hurts.  Of course now I have to ask which one.  To which she points and says is this privacy the butt one.  Now her being the fourth of four children I have had a bit of practice with privacy talks.  To Spencer an innocent Kindergartner the word penis was learned at school.  Shame on us for not teaching him sooner.  So we sat him down and told him that boys have penises and girls have vagina's.  To which he replied, VA-GI-NA, hmm sounds Chinese and with that his dad and I let him walk away hollering behind him don't talk about it at school.  Now Maggie had some questions of her own, Why is the word penis so fun to say if you shouldn't say it very much?  I had no reply, for I do believe if it was not the word for the private area of a boy it could be a good name for a pet.  Sometimes I think it would have been better if we just kept the whole thing a "privacy" and then I remember that one time in the car.  On our way somewhere, an ad came on the radio for a new restaurant in Scottsdale it was a fancy restaurant that provided a lot of "privacy".  To which a young Matthew questioned, Why does the restaurant sell privacy's and who would want one?  Hmmm, so smart that boy is!  So I end these ramblings on with this last comment from the horse stables.  Man, that one must be a boy.  Yeah,  I think he is the "Italian Stallion".   Oh, where did I go wrong?

You Are Your Own Worse Critic

You are your own worse critic seems to run pretty true for most people. However, I do believe that I have found an exception to that rule. AND... it makes me wish that "I" was my own worse critic.

Please note that in my eyes everything is going great. The kids and I are having fun and learning together. At times there are battles, but in my eyes we get through them quickly with very little casualties and move on. I do believe I may be wearing "foggy mommy" glasses.



Last week I am guessing that I was having a fairly bad day. I don't remember thinking "WOW" I am having a bad day. But Spencer (you know the one), kindly informed me before for he and Maggie left for piano that I should have plenty of time to take a nap while they were gone. WHAT? I am pretty sure I can't describe the look he gave but it meant something like this, "You know what I am talking about, right?" That kid always acts like he is doing me a favor when he speaks his ornery little mind.

I wish he was my only critic... But alas this evening after family night I planned on sewing with the kids again. Making animal skin pouches like the Nomads, clever, inventive, fun, and definitely a time sacrifice, as I HAVE BEEN teaching them all day. So sweet little Maggie was called on to give our closing prayer and she nicely asks "Please help us not to make mom mad while she is helping us sew" (MY LB and I shared an open your eyes and smile moment, so special). WHAT? I thought I was patient, VERY PATIENT, considering sewing is "no" easy task to teach elementary students.

So you see here "I" am patting myself on the back, "Well done Christy!" And those darn kids are saying it how they see it. What is that saying? "Out of the mouths of babes." I think I have a better word for "babes", ANYWAY, let's just say I have a few tooooooo many critics living with me.

Funny Of The Day

You know that saying, kids say the darndest things? Well, I believe that kids say funny, random, embarrassing, brutally honest things. But it's actually "DADS" that say the darndest things.

Last night after family night I was "done". My body was telling me it is time for a little R&R. So I had a little pow wow with MY LB and headed up to my room to read the last two chapters of my book and get a little shut eye.

I proceeded up the stairs and heard little foot steps behind me so I quickened my pace. As I reached the top stairs I heard the contention begin.

Spencer, that kid always the contention, contention, contention.

In Maggie's words, "He was trying to knock my head off."

Spencer's words, "She got in my way while I was swinging my arms."

And here it is........ DADS WORDS to a very contentious Spencer, "DO YOU WANT TO BRING THE DEVIL INTO OUR HOME?"

I smiled big as I took those last few steps, maybe even giggled a little. As I entered my room I laid down on my comfy bed, adjusted my pillow,closed my eyes for a brief moment and mentally added find a good "Exorcist" to my to do list for tomorrow.

Funny Of The Day

I use the term funny very loosely, for I know that it was actually a heroic moment of bravery and courage.

Today we took a field trip to the Prescott Zoo with my mom and some of the kids cousins, very cute quaint zoo. Towards the end of our trip Matthew got stung by a wasp. He was screaming, "It Stung Me!". No, it was more like, "It Stung Me?". As if he couldn't believe that it was possible. It was his first sting so the screaming, tears, and life or death reaction was normal (I think). I decided that we should probably go.

We had to pass the same spot he was stung by the wasp to depart from the zoo. Matthew and I were up front and believe it or not he started screaming, "It Stung Me Again!" At this point I spotted the big, scary, ferocious, enemy. I distracted the wasp in my direction so Matthew could flee from the scene without further injury.

To my surprise the wasp started attacking me. At this point I began swinging my purse, flailing my arms, and I ran into a tree. This is the part that the on lookers thought was funny. Only, they didn't understand my strategy. They didn't understand that I was being perused by an angry assailant that wanted to cause me harm.

As I see it (because it did happen to me) I worked quickly efficiently and saved lives. If they only understood my dream to be a chick in a fighting movie, good or bad I don't care. I want to wear all black, carry a gun, have a vicious stride, and a look on my face that says, "Bring it on". I dream of that moment when it all comes down to me, some ninja moves, an awesome display of agility, and alas and ending with my foot on the guys chest, gun in his face, and some intimidating chick fighting words spilling from my mouth. That would be awesome!

I knew what it took to bring down the enemy. I had planned strategy. The peeps I was with may explain it as funny and say I freaked out, but NO, NO, they are mistaken. I had crazy eyes all over my head I could see that wasp coming from any direction, I knew exactly where to swing my purse and dodge my arms (the arms were dodging), I hit the guy three times with my purse and he kept coming back for more. So I decided to back into a tree and scrape and bruise my arm so he would think he won and fly away. Strategy, split minute decisions, and the dreams of chick fighter.

Because of my bravery the others made safe passage and no one else was harmed. I knew I saved them even if one of the would be victims (Spencer) was laughing histericly and saying I looked like a "Crazy Old Women". My only wish is that I could have saved the one that was still screaming and dramatically asking, "Why does the world hate me?" Those words of the victim are still ringing in my ears (literraly), I guess you can't save them all.

A heroine? I think so!

Funny of the Day

Yesterday morning at library story time...

He was too old for the stories

He was too old for the songs

He was too old for the craft

He was too old to pet the dogs

He was even too old for jokes about being too old

Last night he slept......

SNUG AS MY LITTLE BUG IN A RUG

I don't think I am going to be spending much time dwelling on the fact that he's getting older.

At least not for now!

Thanks to MY LB for a great sense of humor and capturing this awesome moment in time.

The Multi-Disasterer

I have always prided myself on being pretty good at multitasking, UNTIL, today.

Normally in school there is a lot of planning that goes into a water day, not our school. We are very spontaneous with our water days. As a matter of fact I didn't even know we were going to have one today.

To be fare it started last night when an exhausted me told MY LB, "Don't worry I will give Kendal a bath tomorrow." (getting the idea?) So this morning we went about our regular, "I am finally getting the groove" activities. Piano, chores and devotional. After that I asked the boys to log on to see what they had to do for the day while I gave Kendal a bath.

While I was preparing her and the tub in my bathroom, thousands of things were going through my head and anxious me wanted to be sure we started off on task for the day. So I stepped out of the bathroom to check on the boys and get them started on their assignments. ONLY, I got overly involved and forgot that I was multitasking, UNTIL, a little wet girl came in and said, "I'm done".

CRAP! My head was spinning, "Did I turn off the water?" Answer, NO! That is how our water day began. With LOTS of towels, a frazzled mom, a Matthew on errand to get a mop, and TONS AND TONS OF WATER.

After those fireworks (or should I say water works) were complete and our day became COMPLETELY off task we proceeded into our school room when I remembered that I had a naked baby who incidentally was busy emptying the humidifier onto her floor and splashing in the puddle.

So I picked up the humidifier and not knowing what to do with it, put it into the kids bathtub which to my surprise was already filled with water, SPLASH!

Not to worry!

One unplanned completely multi-disastrous water day is not going to have me....

Throwing in the towel!!

Funny of the day

I was pretty astonished on finding out from Maggie's teacher that she has, and I quote, "Model student behavior." However even more astonishing was finding out that she has model teacher behavior.

Today I took our little Cocoa Bean rabbit to school for show and tell. It was very exciting, Cocoa got a bath for the big day and everything. When I arrived Maggie's class was sitting quietly on the carpet waiting for "The Rabbit" with Maggie sitting in front of them on a big chair. I loved seeing their excited faces and hearing their little kiddo murmur as I pulled Cocoa out of her box. I handed the rabbit over to Maggie and kids began raising their hands with questions.

This is where Maggie took control, Yes Maddie do you have a question? Timmy I can't call on you until you are sitting criss cross. It is getting a little loud for questions I can't call on anyone else until you get quiet. Ricky you are being so good today what is your question (I guess he is not usually good because the teacher agreed with her). I called on Bobby because he was sitting quietly. It just kept going from there and I was completely astonished. Who is this little teacher sitting in front of me? Is she the same little girl that lives at my house? The one that giggles when she gets her brothers all riled up, the one that burps and laughs, picks on her baby sister and still fuzzies her bear and sucks her fingers? Is it REALLY my little girl?

NO IT CAN'T BE

IT JUST CAN'T BE

Random Thought

HELP!!!

Funny of the Day

While watching Sinbad (animated movie that is my absolute favorite) Spencer got a little red in the face during a kissing scene. His big dimple was to full capacity and he was giggling. And then he gave some good whole hearted second grader advice.....

"If you like a girl you just have to act like you don't like her. That way it wont give away your secret."

Ahh, what "GREAT" advice (I hope Matthew was listening). I just hopes he lives by his own advice until he is about 21 years old.

Funny of the Day

Seriously if I could start my life all over again I would choose to be exactly like this girl. She is so amazing! She has the best personality and biggest loving heart. She makes me laugh, surprises me with her intelligence, loves having fun and isn't afraid to just let loose.
Here's to Miss Maggie on the day of all days........

CRAZY HAIR DAY

Now that is a girl with serious "Spirit".

I can't forget to add what a good example she is to her little sis.

Special note that everyday is crazy hair day for this one.

Matthew is a completely different story as he thought his crazy hair was "like crazy cool". He was posing like it was some kind of magazine photo shoot and I was trying to be normal about it but I had Spencer laughing in the back ground. He was saying, "Matthew is trying to be cool". How do I survive this?
Spencer stayed home again. However, I do believe that getting in my hair all day and making me crazy counts as an official crazy hair day for Spencer.

Funny of the Day

This morning MY LB and I walked our Little's to school. The first day of school and we have a kinder this year so the walk was especially exciting. She was so proud with her lunch box, new clothes, cute hair and happy school girl face. She was walking a little ways ahead of us with her daddy, it was a picture perfect moment in time.
So what does a little girl talk about on the way to her first day of school with her daddy? Of course she reassures him that she is ready and he has nothing to worry about. "I still know what a girl privacy is called, a vagina."
I have to say MY LB was pretty cool about it, "Yeah good job, but we don't really talk about it in school right?"
Not sure of her response because I was holding in giggles and not doing a very good job at it. Good thing I was walking behind the conversations of a brand new school girl and her daddy.

Funny of the day

ALAS, the true Mecham creek swimming experience.
Thank you grandma for the pictures.
Spencer

This little bugger is so strong! I could not get him off of me and when I finally got him off and threw him into the creek he got up and gave me a big slug in the arm. Can't say that I blame him, I was laughing at his expense. I mean he did say he saw a water lizard.

TEE-HEE!!

Matthew

This kid was so freaked out that he was to easy to over throw and he was in the water quite quickly. However he was right back on me just as quickly frantically looking around the water for whatever it was that was killing those Crawdads. I think it was mostly the Crawdads.

Maggie

No pictures of Maggie's frantic swimming but dang that girl can swim. Not sure what she thought she was swimming away from and I don't think she knew either. Just a precaution based on the reactions of her older brothers. They must know something that she doesn't, right?

Kendal

Look at the face on that little girl! She loves the water, even horrible water dwelling creature water. According to my 9 year old, "she is a baby and doesn't know any better and that is why she is able to enjoy the experience." Well one thing is for sure she definitely enjoyed the experience.

Now some of you may be thinking how mean it is for me to be throwing them into SCARY water but the intention was not mean my plan just back fired. You see I thought that if mom fully dressed would get into the water with them they would feel more comfortable and enjoy themselves. NOPE, I am obviously no match for the "CREEK CRITTERS".

The Orphanage

This is a story about Matthew:

Mom said:

In the dark of the night came a lone child (wait maybe his sister already came in once), In the dark of the night came the SECOND lone child. Mom I had a bad dream. That's all I remember!

Next morning:

Matthew said:

Last night I had the worst dream, it was really bad mom. I dreamed that we were all in the car and we were driving and then I saw an Orphanage. I said that looks like a nice orphanage. I asked why are we stopping? And dad said because we are dropping you off. I was saying No please no but you guys weren't listening. Then I woke up!

I tried to shake off the dream by remembering that we are a forever family (he really said that). It made me feel better but I still went in your room.

You said that it was o.k. and that you and dad loved me to much to do something like that. Well look at that I am a good mom even in my sleep. Oh wait, and then you told me I could sleep on your floor if that would make me feel better (now there is some serious compassion). I went back to my bed and just kept remembering that you love me.

We do love you Matthew, A LOT!

( If you are a dream analyzer, I don't want to know)

Funny of the Day

Maggie had her neighbor friend over yesterday for some fun girlie play. I love listening to children play it makes me smile. However every once in awhile you hear something that really makes you laugh.

Says Miss Maggie: I am going to be teenager, o.k.?
Says Miss Grace: O.k., I am going to be 99 o.k.?
Long pause while Maggie's ticker is ticking.
Says Miss Maggie: O.k. but you are still alive and you are my mom, o.k.?

I am trying to decide if this is a sign of intelligence or the loss of childhood innocence.

Funny of the day

The Evolution Of The Fake Burp

Kendal was able to acquire this characteristic through extensive study of preschool students. As she observed the behavior of one sweet child burping and all of the others laughing she began to laugh as well. After also observing the rudeness of fake burping exhibited by her sibling and the laughing that occurred as a result she began to catch on. This made her capable of changing her behavior and characteristics of a reserved toddler and change into one that fake burps and laughs.

This behavior continued to gather laughs from mom, dad, brothers and other supportive on lookers. As this conduct is one to be looked upon poorly she began to hear the word "NO" in order to try to correct the behavior.

Further evolution occurred when she observed her mother making the noise of burping. Kendal observed and laughed. Her mother shocked covered her mouth and said "excuse me". This caused the child's brain to once again gather information and make changes. Now after she faked burp she would cover her mouth and say "Scooze-me". This transformation also gathered many laughs but was still a frowned upon conduct and she continued to hear the word "NO".

The child being effected by the ever evolving fake burp was being probed and prompted by her siblings to continue the behavior. When ever the siblings would fake burp or real burp and laugh their mom and dad would also tell them "NO". Upon receiving this "NO" the young siblings would say "Oh sorry, sorry".

Kendal observing the characteristic of being "Oh sorry, sorry" began to think upon their behavior and the result is the final evolution of the fake burp....

Now and finally after the child fake burps she smiles and says "Oh sorry, sorry".

AHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH........

.............AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

That's all I really wanted to say. Thanks for listening!!

Spam?

I always have to skim through the subjects of my emails just to weed out the SPAM. You now that singles, lottery, enhancement JUNK. Well about a week ago I came across a subject that said, HOT MAMA MESSAGE. My first thought of course was SPAM, who sends this junk. Well I will tell you who sends this junk...................

Nine year old boys that think their mom is a HOT MAMA!! I couldn't believe it when I saw Matthew's name in the from column. I thought, "what on earth"!! Sure enough here is the message that he sent me FROM SCHOOL.
I love you! HOT MAMA !

It was written in huge red letters with flashing hearts ALL over.

I am still not sure weather or not to be flattered or worried. I mean who says that to their MOTHER. I will tell you who says that to their mother........ A nine year old boy who forever wants to be tormented by his mother about how he thinks she is ONE HOT MAMA.

I LOVE YOU TOO MATTHEW!

Funny of the day

O.k. normally I would not share this great big piece of embarrassing information, however the events that surrounded it are to funny not to share. Yesterday we met dad at the park for dinner before he went to school for the evening. I brought my fantastic camera with the intention of taking pictures of my roller skaters- mind you.

I came up with this great idea to have Spencer (great idea??) take a picture of Jeremiah and I (embarrassing part) in our ALMOST well getting closer hot bods since we both had just lost 12 pounds each. Here are SOME of the pictures in order with commentary..........

Jeremiah: Where are you pointing the camera?

Me: Just smiling and posing

Jeremiah: There is no one over there.

Me: I am still smiling and posing

This is where it gets confusing

Jeremiah: NO ONE IS OVER THERE

Me: Point the camera more this way Spencer

I am not sure what is being said here but my point is this

the kid keeps clicking and laughing. These next two pictures

are not the same picture he was just clicking fast and laughing LOUD.

Jeremiah: Finally got a grasp on what really needed to be done

Me: I look as if I am finding humor in the whole escapade.

Jeremiah: Is having a difficult time moving on

Me: O.k. it's good just smile and pose

Jeremiah: Finally Posing

Me: I wonder if I can stick my chest out any farther

Spencer: Still clicking not stopping

Jeremiah: Still Posing (good man)

Me: I am going in!!

Jeremiah: Looking around for witnesses of what is about to happen

Me: I am still going in

Spencer: STILL CLICKING AND STILL LAUGING

Jeremiah: That kid has no FEAR

Me: You are going down BOY!

Spencer: Still clicking and laughing, wow she is getting really close.

Don't worry Spencer is still ALIVE !!

P.S. The pictures I posted did not even make up half of the actual amount taken

You can't get sick of FUNNY of the days

While we were having Afterschooling yesterday Kendal found a use for her POUTY lips (with the help of dad of course)

I know she seems GROUCHY most of the time but she REALLY likes to make people laugh.

YEAH another Funny of the day

I love FUNNY OF THE DAYS!! Laughter is life's medicine, right?

Today I volunteered at Spencer's school and they were writing about things that they would do it they lived in the White House. I heard some kid's reading theirs to the teacher. "I would sleep all day", "I would stay up until 10:00 every night", "I would stay up and watch movies all night", "I would play all of the time". So at dinner I asked Spencer what he said he would do if he lived in the White House. And here is what he wrote, Spencer at his best.....................

"I would declare a Thumb War"

I LOVE THAT KID!!